A Secret Weapon for Mental Flexibility— 3rd Person Self-Talk
“How is Beth today?”
That was the question my therapist asked, every week, when I saw her during my battle with post-natal depression.
She never asked, “How are you today?”
What was more interesting about the question, was my inner voice’s response.
I would hear in a sarcastic tone: “I don’t know, how IS Beth today?”
I never thought about myself in the 3rd person. After all, in my mind, I am myself, not “Beth”. But Beth is my name, so this question, “how is Beth today”, tickled my mind’s curiosity which required my mind to find an answer. So, every week when my therapist asked, “how is Beth today”, in an instant, I was asking my mind the very same question.
Looks like my therapist knew what she was doing. It would be nearly 10 years later for me to realise she was equipping me with the secret weapon of, 3rd Person Self-Talk.
It’s a secret weapon for two reasons.
First, 3rd person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation.
For example, when we reflect on emotional experiences using the first person (I or me), we feel those experiences, personally. “I felt guilty for not having my homework.”
